Grief
by Matsuko Hirioko
Summary: Lavi is just a teenager trying to cope with the loss of his brother Joshua. But what will happen when an abuse victim comes to live with him wearing Joshua's face?
1. 11:11

**Hello everybody!**

**This kind of popped into my head one day, so I thought I would go with it. Now, I must admit that Lavi's younger brother was modeled after Joshua Shepherd from Silent Hill: Homecoming, but I was just so inspired. T^T**

**Summary: Lavi is just a teenager trying to cope with the loss of his brother Joshua. But what will happen when an abuse victim comes to live with him wearing Joshua's face?**

**Warning: This story is UN-BETA'D! Please bear with me if I made some grammatical errors. Also, there's violence and mild language.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own -Man. The series and its characters belong to Katsura Hoshino.**

**Please, please please enjoy! I appreciate feedback!**

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He staggered backwards, resting on the wall behind him. He held himself steady with bloodstained hands. Another punch came at him as his father threw ugly names at him, blaming him for his troubles and the death of the boy's mother.

_Another punch sent the brunette flying. His father stepped forward. The boy could see the murderous intent in his eyes._

_"Dad...stop..." he pleaded, but to no avail. His father went to the kitchen to grab an "old favorite", a bloodied knife. He returned, grinning like a madman. The boy tried to scramble away, but there was nowhere but a corner to cower in fear._

_"Allen...tonight, my troubles END!"_

_He swung the knife downward, stabbing Allen in the shoulder. The brunette cried out as his sadistic father twisted the knife in his shoulder. He withdrew the blade, grabbed Allen's left arm, stabbing over again and again. After a while, Allen's whole arm went numb. His father withdrew the knife again, but cut a design over his son's left eye. Suddenly, the door was kicked down as men in black SWAT uniforms swarmed the house. They seized Allen's father and hauled him to jail, while they strapped Allen to a stretcher and rushed him to the hospital._

* * *

A red head looked through the examination room window. Inside, Allen was fast asleep under sedation. The stress caused to the boy caused him to almost lose his mind when he arrived at the hospital, or so the red head was told.

The red head's name was Lavi, a 17 year old teenager working as a student guest counsellor at the hospital. He had been assigned to work with Allen Walker, a 15 year old child abuse victim, the boy he looked at now. Lavi sighed sympathetically at the boy. In a school picture, Allen had brunette hair. This hellish experience was causing it to turn white. No doubt another world of trouble when he returned to school. The red head was tapped on the shoulder. It was Dr. Ryan, the doctor that took care of Allen the night before.

"Doctor." Lavi addressed him.

"He's just about to wake up. He's calmed down quite a bit. If you like, you may go in and talk to him," the doctor said. Lavi nodded.

"Thank you."

Lavi entered into Allen's room. He frowned when he saw Allen's arms in restraints. The red head quietly took a seat beside him. Allen became aware of his presence, looking at him through stunning silver eyes. They were alot calmer than the frenzied pair he wore last night. Lavi smiled warmly.

"Allen? Um, I'm Lavi. I'm a student guest..." he didn't want to boy to feel patronized. "...here at the hospital. I'm here to help you."

Allen's eyes shifted to the ceiling.

"Funny...this isn't what I pictured heaven would look like," he said, much to Lavi's surprise.

"This isn't heaven." Lavi said. Allen looked at him again.

"I didn't die last night? Aren't you an angel?" he asked. Lavi smiled, blushing slightly.

"No, you're still alive. And I'm not an angel."

Allen's eyes floated back to looking at the ceiling.

"Oh. I'm still alive," he said. His hands trembled inside the restraints. Lavi reached out towards the boy, putting his hand over one of Allen's. The now white haired boy did not resist this kind of comfort. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Are you sure I'm not dead?" he asked again. Lavi nodded.

"Positive."

"Well, I'm kind of afraid to be alive right now." Allen confessed.

"I'm listening, if you wanna tell me."

Allen shook his head. "Not yet. Soon, I'll get over it soon enough."

A knock came at the door. It was a nurse. It was time for Lavi to create his assessment of the boy. The red head sat in the hospital staff room, writing his impressions and recommendations for Allen. His concentration was broken by Kanda, an orderly.

"Hey, Kanda." Lavi said, still writing. The Japanese man growled.

"Man, some patients here are pains in the ass!" he complained. Lavi sighed.

"Nothing's changed, I see," he said, still writing.

"Not really. But Lavi, I heard about what happened...are you doing alright?" the stupid orderly asked.

Lavi's fingers let go of the pen. A month before, Lavi's 14 year old brother Joshua lost his life in a car crash. The bond between them was deep, so Lavi wasn't completely over it. Not after the time he spent as a zombie in his own house. Coming back to work was an ordeal in itself, as Joshua died on the way to the hospital Lavi worked at now.

"It's only been a month...do I look alright?" Lavi replied.

"Well, I thought you would be over it by now..."

"He was my brother. He's all I had left. You know, this boy I'm assessing looks so much like Joshua, now that I think about it." Lavi said. Kanda took a glance at Allen's photo.

"You're right."

Lavi signed his report and ushered a goodbye to Kanda. In his mind, he compared Joshua's eyes to Allen's. He tried shaking it off. He bumped into Allen's doctor in his daze.

"Sorry..." Lavi murmured, not paying attention as his report slipped out of his arms, crashing all over the floor.

"Ah, shit," he hissed. Two hands stopped him.

"Lavi, I have a favor to ask you." Dr. Ryan asked. Lavi looked up at him, nodding.

"Could you take Allen into your home for a bit?"

The red head's face fell.

"Uh..."

"It would only be until his papers go through for foster care." The doctor said.

"I don't know if I would be able to handle it." Lavi said.

"What do you mean? He has an excellent record at school, no criminal record..."

"That's not it. He looks like my brother Joshua."

"Oh, would Joshua not be comfortable with a twin?" Dr. Ryan asked condescendly. Lavi glared at him.

"Doctor, Joshua is dead. He lost his life in a car accident a month ago."

The doctor's expression changed from annoyance to sympathy.

"Lavi, I didn't know...I'm sorry."

The red head didn't reply.

"I'll try my best."

"Thank you, Lavi. Really, I mean it. Just let us know if it gets to be too much."

Lavi faked a smile and continued picking up his report.

"You can go tell Allen the news, if you like." The doctor said. "I can pick these up."

"Thanks, I'll go tell him."

Lavi didn't really want to see Allen. Not while he was still mourning Joshua. He was only steps away from Allen's door. From the window looking in, Allen saw Lavi and smiled. The red head's mind didn't see Allen; it saw Joshua, smiling. Alive and well. But Lavi knew that was a lie. He turned around and ran, heading outside. He sat on a nearby bench. His attention was drawn to the sound of a siren. An ambulance was coming into the hospital. Lavi sighed, watching the ambulance. As soon as the ambulance reached a corner, Lavi knew that was the exact point where Joshua died. Of course, he remembered the incident like it was yesterday...

* * *

_Lavi and his friend Eddie were coming back from a party. They had been drinking, only moderately, but it was enough to cause an accident._

_"Oh! Ed, we have to go pick up my brother." Lavi remembered._

_"Okay, where to?" Eddie asked._

_"Jake's house. Eddie, are you sure you're okay to drive?"_

_"Oh yeah! I'm more sober than you."_

_"Fine, I trust you. Let's go."_

_The drive there went along smoothly with no problems. Joshua was waiting outside of Jake's house. He smiled and waved the car down._

_"Hi, Josh! How did your visit go?" Lavi asked. Joshua climbed in and the car took off._

_"Good, good. Hey, have you been drinking again?"_

_"Yes, but we're sober enough to drive."_

_"Lavi, maybe you should sober up at Jake's house. Eddie, turn around!" Joshua said._

_"Don't worry about it. JESUS EDDIE, THE LANE, THE LAANEE!" Lavi yelled._

_It was too late. Eddie had swerved into oncoming traffic and crashed into a mini-van. Eddie's small car rolled over 3 times before resting back on its wheels. Luckily, Lavi was not injured, but Eddie was not wearing his seatbelt and was killed instantly. Joshua was unconcious, but clearly injured. _

_"JOSHUA!" Lavi undid his seatbelt and got out of the car. He struggled with the back car door, eventually breaking the door off its hinges. Lavi had managed to pull Joshua out when the ambulance arrived._

_"Please, let me go with him!" Lavi pleaded with the paramedic. The paramedic shook his head._

_"I'm sorry son. There's not enough room."_

_"NO! He's my brother! I have to be with him!"_

_The paramedic ignored him and got into the ambulance, driving away. Lavi yelled, running after the ambulance. He managed to hitch a ride to the hospital, following after the ambulance. When the ambulance turned around a specific corner into the loading bay, Lavi felt something leave him. Like something was torn away from his whole being. He ran after the paramedics rushing Joshua into an operating room. Lavi could only watch as the doctors tried to resuscitate his brother. Joshua's lifeline, heartbeat and pulse fell into a straight line, followed by a loud long beep. The doctors looked sadly at his brother._

_"Call it," one of them said, picking up a chart._

_"Time of death, 11:11:12 PM." Another doctor read off of her watch._

_Lavi's heart dropped. His stomach felt sick. Suddenly, Lavi was grabbed by policemen that followed him to the hospital. Lavi yelled Joshua's name over and over as he was dragged away. He was hauled to the police station on charge of hit and run. His testimony was taken and he was given a pillow and blanket._

_Lavi didn't cry that night. It felt like all his emotions had been stripped away from him. Of course, he felt some relief when he was told none of the people in the mini van were killed, but he felt numb after losing his brother and his best friend. He became lost in his thoughts and eventually drifted to sleep._

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**Well, the ending felt kind of weird. Actually, this whole chapter did. -.-**

**But please remember to review! Feedback is what would help make this story better!**

**Arigato!**

**:3**


	2. White Hair

**Warnings for this chapter: F-bombs. And possible typos. Author notes at the end.**

**Enjoy! ^.^**_

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Lavi was awoken by a police officer. He was told since he was not the owner nor the driver of the car, no more responsibility laid on him and he was free to go. His first though was to see Joshua. He ran to the hospital. A doctor that tried to help Lavi's brother the night before recognized him and took him to the hospital's morgue. There she pulled on a cubby's handle and pulled out Joshua's figure, lying under a bloodied sheet. Lavi's trembling hand pulled away the sheet. Joshua's face was pale, but nonetheless peaceful. Lavi brushed a stray hair off of Joshua's face as the doctor left to give him some time alone.

_"Joshua...I'm so sorry. Why didn't I listen to you?" Lavi asked quietly. He prayed shortly before kissing his brother's cold forehead and pulling the sheet back over his body._

_"Good bye. Be good, alright?" Lavi said, forcing a smile. If there was one thing Joshua taught him, it was to be sensible and optimistic. Lavi parted with his brother and went to join the doctor waiting outside. There they arranged the funeral. It was to be held in the hospital cemetary next week._

_The service was a lengthy 2 hours. Attending the funeral were Joshua's friends Jake, Thomas and Alex. Eddie's estranged sister Elizabeth also attended to give Lavi support in his time of grief. A priest joined the small group and began the service. When they went outside to bury Joshua, the sky had turned gray and it began to rain. Lavi watched as the two undertakers lowered the wooden coffin into the ground. He tried so hard to restrain them, but his emotions were close to breaking through. The thought of never seeing his beloved little brother was a painful concept to grasp. But it happened. Lavi made a foolish mistake and he was gone._

_His heart throbbed as he clutched his hand over it. Emotions eventually got the best of the red head. He dropped to his knees as tears spilled over his green eyes. The undertakers covered the coffin with shovel fulls of dirt. He could only watch as the box carrying Joshua disappeared from sight. He felt a significant emptiness in him when the coffin was completely buried. He looked at his brother's tombstone._

_JOSHUA VALKYRIE THOMPSON_

_1994-2008_

_BELOVED BROTHER_

_Lavi didn't even know they used their last name on Joshua's grave. The red head had abandoned it just like their father abandoned the two brothers. _

_When Joshua was born, his mother died soon after. The brothers father almost went mad with grief and resorted to drinking. He left six years later, leaving Lavi to look after Joshua on his own. The brothers went from foster house to foster house for seven years until one incident put them on the streets. Their luck changed for the better. Lavi won a jackpot of 6 million dollars from a stray lottery ticket he found on the street. With the money, he put a roof over their heads and sent Joshua back to school. He went back to high school, but dropped out as soon as he began his undergrad work in the hospital. There he met Kanda and Eddie. After working with Eddie, a recovering heroin user, they became best friends. Then they went to a party together, but what Lavi didn't know was Eddie had taken a tab of ectasy at the party and it led up to the car accident..._

* * *

"...Lavi?" a voice asked. Lavi gasped and broke away from his thoughts. He turned to the source of the voice. It was Allen.

"Oh, Allen. What's up, are you ready to go?" Lavi asked. The now white haired boy nodded. Lavi couldn't help but notice the boy was trying to hide his bandaged left arm.

"Uh-huh."

"Does your arm feel okay?"

Allen glanced at it in shame. "I can't feel anything in it."

"Why do you look so ashamed?"

Allen shook his head. Lavi rose.

"Well, let's depart, shall we?"

The car ride was quiet. Lavi tried his best to keep his shaking hands from making an audible sound. In the mirror, Allen played with his new white hair. Lavi was drowning in the awkward silence and decided to make small talk.

"Allen, what school do you go to?"

"Eh? Oh, Longsdale High."

Without warning, Lavi's car came to a screeching halt. Allen was launched foward, bumping his nose on the dashboard before being yanked back by his seatbelt.

Longsdale...the same school Joshua attended.

Allen looked very confused. "Lavi, did I say something wrong?"

"N-No..." Lavi forced out. He rested his head on the wheel. Allen watched as the red head's body shuddered.

"They did tell me about yo...I mean, him."

Lavi lifted his head. "They did?

Allen nodded. "I'm so sorry. It's uncanny they're sending me to live with you, out of all the people out there."

"I think because of our initial meeting, they feel you'd be safer with me. Anyways, it's only until your foster care papers are approved."

Allen's face fell. "Oh."

Lavi's foot pressed on the gas. "Sorry about the sudden stop."

The final leg of the car ride was more awkward before Lavi stopped. They stopped in front of an apartment building. Lavi led Allen up to apartment 230 on the fifth floor. Allen was speechless the moment he walked in.

"Lavi, I can't thank you enough for your kindness."

Lavi smiled. He showed Allen to his room, a small guest room.

"It's only temporary, as I haven't had the chance to clear the other room."

"I don't mind, really. I'll take what ever I'm offered."

Allen threw his suitcase onto the bed. It groaned and suddenly caved in on itself. He jumped.

"I-I'm sorry!"

Lavi wasn't paying attention. "Hmm? Oh...OH! How did that happen?"

"I don't know! I threw my suitcase on the bed and it collapsed!"

"The wood must've rotted away..."

That left only one option...Joshua's room. Lavi went cold at the thought of it.

"Ah. I could always sleep on the couch, Lavi."

"No, that's not necessary. I need to face this head on. It's been a month."

With that being said, Lavi trudged forward. He stopped in front of Joshua's room. A shaky hand reached for the knob, rattling as he turned it. With a flick of his wrist, the door swung open. The room sat silently, the sun spotlighting all the dust that danced in the air.

The red head stepped in, surveying the room: it was a typical teenage boy's room, full of video game magazines and strewn with dirty clothes. On the walls were various posters ranging from cool action heroes to monsters, baring their teeth at the viewer.

Lavi felt like he was stepping on a field of barbed wire. His heart told him to turn back now, as he wasn't ready. But Lavi wanted to force himself to let go. He fell to the floor on his knees in defeat.

"I'm sorry, Allen...but I just can't do it. Not yet."

Allen smiled softly, "I understand. Please, don't push yourself."

Lavi looked back at the white haired boy, who still smiled. He smiled back at him when his pocket buzzed loudly. He pulled out his pager and looked over the message he had just recieved.

"Ah, damn. They need me back at the hospital. Will you be okay by yourself, kiddo?"

"Oh yeah, I'll be fine."

"Okay. There's pizza and other stuff to eat in the fridge, so help yourself. Need a ride to school tomorrow?"

"Ah, no, it's okay. See ya later, Lavi."

Lavi smiled and patted Allen on the head. He grabbed his coat and yelled out bye before he stepped out the door.

* * *

"Hey, took you long enough." Kanda hissed.

"Ugh, it was club traffic. What's going on?" Lavi asked.

"It's the foster care agency that kid's been assigned to. They want your recommendations for him."

Lavi scratched his head, sighing. "What happened to my report?"

"Oh, Dr. Ryan spilled coffee on it. It's completely unreadable."

"Fucking eh. Okay fine, I'll go see them. Oh hey, how's studying for your midterm going?" Lavi asked, walking away from the orderly.

"Fuck you!" Kanda called back. Several eyes stared at him.

Lavi laughed and walked away. In the hallway Dr. Ryan was waiting for him. The doctor greeted him and took him to meet the foster care agents.

* * *

The meeting ran until 9:30. It was decided that Lavi would take care of Allen until he was either settled back in school or for one month of observation. They also discussed Allen's uncanny likeliness to Joshua and how Lavi could handle it, but they did agree they would take Allen away if it became too much for the redhead.

Take him away. It felt like such an ugly sentence to him. Lavi had many things taken away from him: a normal childhood, a chance to go to college, his mother, Joshua...he decided he wouldn't think about such things and try to enjoy the time ahead he had to spend with Allen.

When Lavi arrived home, said white haired boy was fast asleep on the floor. Lavi switched on a small light in the kitchen so he could see his way around the apartment. He stole a look at Allen. The white haired boy looked so peaceful, but he had been playing with the bandage on his left arm. It laid like a bloody ribbon on the floor. Lavi kneeled down beside him and lifted his left arm. It was cut and scratched, with bruises lining the deeper gashes. A couple gashes even had stitches holding them together. The redhead frowned, turning Allen's arm around gently.

Allen's eyebrows scrunched up as he let out a tired groan. He opened his sleepy silver eyes, which hovered over to his left arm.

"It doesn't look too good, does it?" Allen asked.

"No. Come on, time to go to bed."

"I'm fine on the floor."

"No, you're not. You'll catch a cold like that."

Without any other words, Allen was hoisted onto Lavi's back. The white haired boy was too worn out to resist.

"Where are you taking me?" Allen asked, trying to stay awake.

"Somewhere nice."

Allen mumbled something incoherent before his body went limp. He had given in to the exhaustion of having so many things happen to him. Lavi was pretty tired, so he decided to be lazy and put Allen in his bedroom. He laid Allen down on one side of his excessively big bed and settled in the other side. He said goodnight to Allen and passed out.

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**Hmm, felt like an odd chapter to me. I've been having a writer's block of sorts, since I can't get anything done on Pulse. Hmph.**

**Oh well, I always appreciate feedback. It's the most precious gift you can give me. (That and a PS3. inFAMOUS looks like a kickass game.)**

**As usual: I don't own this series. The characters and the series belong to Katsura Hoshino-sensei.**


	3. Painkillers

**Warnings: Language, probable typos and almost rape. Almost. Author notes at the end.**

**Enjoy!**

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"Lavi, wake up."

The red head groaned, pulling his blanket over his head. "Noo, Josh. Five more minutes?"

"You know I don't have five minutes."

Lavi suddenly realized who he was talking to.

"Joshua?!"

He threw his blanket off of him, awaking with a start. Glancing around, he cursed under his breath. It may have been a dream, but it was the closest thing he had to talking to Joshua again. Sighing, he looked at his clock; it read 6:50 AM. Since he was wide awake, Lavi decided to get up. He threw on some clothes and headed to make himself some breakfast. It was in the kitchen where he found Allen, face first on floor.

Lavi kneeled down and shook Allen gently. The white haired boy scrunched up his eyes before letting out a yawn. His silver eyes looked at Lavi, but they were unfocused.

"Allen, what's the matter? Are you sick?" Lavi asked.

"No. It's my arm." Allen replied in a dry voice. The red head reasoned that the painkillers Allen got at the hospital had worn off. He helped Allen off the floor and on to the couch.

"I'll get you some more painkillers," he said. Allen didn't reply. He simply looked at Lavi through his cloudy eyes. Lavi looked high and low for some painkillers, but couldn't find anything suitable. He went back to Allen's side.

"Okay, on a scale of one to ten, how badly does your arm hurt?" he asked.

"S-seven, it feels like." Allen replied in a pained voice. Lavi nodded.

"Could you hang on for ten minutes while I go get some medicine for you?"

The white haired boy nodded. Lavi quickly threw on a coat and rushed out of the apartment. He decided to ask Dr. Ryan what kind of painkillers he gave Allen.

* * *

"Doctor, I need your help." Lavi asked. turned around, his mustache grinning with the rest of his mouth.

"Well, if it isn't young Lavi. How are things with Allen?"

"That's what I came here for. The painkillers wore off sometime this morning and I want to know what kind you gave him. He rated his pain to be around a seven."

"Hmm, let me think. You know, I don't remember giving him any painkillers. But you know Kanda is in charge of approving requests for medicine. It might help to check in with him."

"I see. Well thanks for your help." Lavi excused himself and made his way to the break room. Sure enough, Kanda was sitting with his usual grumpy face, signing reports almost begrudgingly. Lavi managed to startle him by slamming his hands on the table.

"Jesus, Usagi...give me a heart attack, why don't you," the Japanese man hissed.

"Kanda, did you approve a request for painkillers for Allen Walker?" Lavi cut straight to the point. Kanda finished his signature on his current request and stood up. He motioned for Lavi to follow him. The red head followed him to the files room, which Kanda was sure to make sure the door was closed. He walked up to a shelf and pulled out a filing drawer labeled 'Approved Medicine Requests, Ages 12-17'. He opened a yellow filed labeled '15' and picked through it.

"Usagi, looks like you're shit out of luck. I never approved any medicine for Allen Walker."

Lavi sighed. "Thanks for your help, Kanda." He was just about to walk out the door.

"Oi! I brought you all this way for a lousy 'thank you'? I think I deserve more gratitude."

Lavi gave him a confused look. "The hell are you talking about? Saying thanks doesn't cut it for you anymore?"

"Afraid not. So get your ass over here." Kanda barked.

Lavi paused. He thought it was strange that Kanda wanted to shut the door. Come to think of it, the hall that the files room was in was very quiet, so it was the perfect place to...oh shit.

The red head looked around for possible exits. The only one that was available was blocked by Kanda. Lavi felt his face flush red.

"Kanda, what do you want me to do?" he asked sheepishly. A smirk appeared on Kanda's face. Without warning, he launched himself at Lavi, effectively knocking him down. He held Lavi's arms in his solid grip.

"Jesus-fucking-christ!" Lavi hissed. Kanda simply forced his lips onto Lavi's.

"I'm-pretty-sure-you-have-to give-someone-ten-seconds to run away before you rape them." Lavi quiped in between Kanda's rough kisses.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to. I'm just getting my payment."

"Kanda, please stop. I have to get back home. Allen-"

Kanda stopped him there with another rough kiss. "Allen this, Allen that. He's all you ever talk about. Why don't you give him a break?"

Lavi became less and less resistant to Kanda's kisses. It was wrong, it felt so uncomfortable, but it was bittersweet. Dare he say it, he _liked _it.

Kanda got bored of Lavi's mouth and started kissing his neck. Said red head shrunk away, trying to cover his neck. He begged again for the Japanese orderly to stop. Surprisingly, Kanda complied and got off of the red head. Lavi saw his chance to escape and burst out the door like a bat out of hell. He paced himself, he had to get out of the hospital.

On the drive home, his mind was fuddled by thoughts of what had just happened to him. He didn't know what to think. But then another baseball hit his mental window: Allen. What if his pain had gotten worse? The mind could only take so much. He raced back up to his apartment. Allen was no longer on the couch, but retching and coughing was pinpointed to the bathroom. Lavi knocked on the door.

"Allen?"

There was no response, only a thud. Lavi opened the door. Allen was lying on the floor, holding his stomach and whimpering. His face was flushed with fever. Lavi picked him up and put him in the bed in his room. He soaked a cloth in cool water and laid it across his forehead. Allen's eyes scrunched up before he opened them.

"Lavi...what took you so long?"

"Kanda held me up. I couldn't get you the medicine."

"It's a good thing."

"I don't understand..."

Allen looked up at him. "I have an addiction problem, Lavi. I'm going through withdrawal," he said, very embarrased.

Lavi's eyes widened. Allen didn't like the look on his face. "I'm so sorry, Lavi, that you have to see me like this. But it's about time I broke the habit."

The red head didn't speak. He simply sat beside the white haired boy.

"I'm rather disappointed to find out this now, but also, I'm very proud of you. I promise, I'll take care of you until you get better."

Allen nodded, forcing a smile. Lavi smiled back and got comfortable. He took Allen's hand in his own, and his walk through hell with Allen began.

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**Well, I'm rather pleased that I could finish a chapter for one of my stories. Now that school is over and all the pressure's off, I'm free to focus on my writing. ****Chapter four should be up in a couple of days, hopefully.**

**Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave some feedback!**

**Arigatou gozaimashita!**


	4. Get Well Soon

**Warnings: Typos.**

**Author notes at the end.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Allen began to feel discomfort a couple hours into his withdrawal process. Lavi had fallen asleep, but was woken up by Allen's muffled coughing and retching in the bathroom. The red head got out of bed and knocked on the bathroom door. Allen opened it moments after. He was pale and trembling slightly. He was silent as he walked back into Lavi's room. Lavi went searching for a bucket Allen could use. After finding one, he crawled back into bed right beside Allen.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Not too good." Allen replied quietly. His face was flushed, making his silver eyes and white hair pop out.

"What drug?"

"Morphine."

Lavi nodded. "How did you get it?"

"My...dad used to work in a hospital and he stole a couple boxes. He never used the morphine so I did."

Lavi's understanding for Allen's situation increased. He couldn't help but feel a bit of sympathy for him. He awkwardly reached out his hand and patted the 15 year old boy on the head. Allen's eyes widened slightly in surprise but a smile played on his lips. Lavi got out of the bed for a face cloth he could use to help bring Allen's temperature down. As he was looking in the bathroom, someone knocked at the door. Standing at the door was a Chinese girl about Allen's age, with black hair and amethyst eyes. She was wearing a Longsdale High hoodie, a skirt and was holding an envelope in her hands.

She blushed at the sight of Lavi. "Um, I'm sorry for bothering you, but is Allen Walker here?"

Lavi was surprised. "Yes, he's here."

The girl smiled. "Oh, thank goodness. I was worried the doctor at the hospital was just playing a nasty trick on me. May I speak to him?"

Lavi glanced around. "Please come in. I have to tell you something."

The girl complied and walked inside Lavi's apartment. The red head offered her a seat.

"Now, what I'm about to tell you is top secret. Absolutely NOONE must know except you. Okay?"

The girl nodded.

Lavi continued on. "Allen has a drug problem, morphine to be exact. Right now he's going through withdrawal, but it's not easy. He's in pain and might want to be left alone."

The girl looked astonished. "I...knew that Allen was having problems at home, not drug problems. And after what happened a couple days ago...must be traumatizing."

Lavi nodded. "Please don't say anything."

The girl smiled. "You can trust me, I assure you. But could you give him this?" She handed him the envelope. Lavi smiled.

"Definitely. And who is it from?"

"Well, my name's Lenalee, and our class pitched in. Tell him it's from his class."

Lenalee stood up and let herself out. "Thanks alot..."

"Lavi. My name's Lavi."

"Lavi. Thanks Lavi." Lenalee said as she walked out the door. Lavi looked at the large envelope curiously. He put the envelope into a drawer and went in to check on Allen. The white haired boy was asleep, but barely. Lavi remembered the cloth he never got for Allen. He went back into the bathroom and ran a cloth under cool water. He squeezed the excess water out and and went back to wipe the 15 year old boy's face.

Almost instantly Allen reacted with having such a cold feeling on his face. He opened his eyes.

"Ah, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. Actually...it feels nice."

Lavi smiled. He laid the cloth along Allen's forehead.

"Oh, a girl named Lenalee stopped by. I explained your situation to her."

"Lenalee? She's a good friend, you can trust her."

"I'm glad to hear that. I was kind of apprehensive about telling her. But she dropped something off for you." Lavi ran off to get the envelope. He handed it to Allen. Curiously, he opened the envelope and pulled out whatever was inside. It was a large get well soon card, with a big goofy dog on its cover, wishing Allen for him to get well. Inside was the sloppy signatures of all his classmates wishing for his speedy recovery. The corners of his mouth slowly pulled up into a smile. He rested his head on his pillow and covered his face with the card, his mouth still smiling but a crystal tear rocketed down his face.

"I am going to get better..." he said quietly. Lavi patted him on the head. Allen put the card on the night table beside him. His eyes were determined and he still had a smile on his face.

"I'm sure you will." Lavi replied. The 15 year old boy laughed before closing his eyes to sleep. The red head left him to rest as he decided to clean up his apartment a little. Upon leaving the bedroom, he glanced at Joshua's room. Its wooden door beckoned him like Pandora's Box: suffering would be unleased should he open the lid. Desperately trying to distract himself from it, he clumsily began tidying up the apartment. He tripped on Allen's suitcase. It fell over and dramatically opened. Out from the suitcase poured four syringes marked 'MORPHINE'. Lavi's brain tried to process what he had just seen. Then he knew Allen would come looking for it in a couple hours. Looting through the suitcase to make sure there wasn't any more, he took the syringes to the hospital. Sighing, he knew it probably meant another encounter with Kanda.

* * *

"Oh ho, Lavi. That's twice today you've come to visit me." Doctor Ryan joked.

"Um, I need to talk to you about Allen." Lavi said, fidgeting. The doctor knew something was bothering him and took him into his office. Once he was sure they had total privacy, Lavi took the syringes out of his pocket. The doctor stared at him incredulously.

"Allen has an addiction to morphine. He's trying to quit, but I still found these in his suitcase."

Doctor Ryan was quiet for a minute. "Well, you've brought them to the right place, and for the right reason. But you know you could be arrested for possession?"

"I know that, and I'm not willing to take those risks. Can't you recycle them or something?"

"I don't know, Lavi. I'll look into it. But you look a little worn out. Why don't you go home and rest? Taking care of an addicted teenager is tiresome work."

Lavi nodded, thanked the doctor and walked out of his office. He went cold at Doctor Ryan's advice. But he felt slightly relieved that he was not holding back Allen's recovery.

"Usagi!"

Lavi froze. Familiar footsteps got closer to him. Kanda's head rested on the red head's shoulder.

"Hey."

Lavi swallowed a lump in his throat. "Hi."

"I was wondering if we could talk."

Lavi spun around, facing the Japanese orderly. "About what?"

Kanda was obviously embarrassed. "About earlier this morning."

"I dunno, Kanda. I'll text you, alright?"

The Japanese man was not impressed. "Fine. See ya."

Lavi began to walk away when Kanda grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

"Kanda, I swear to god-" Lavi hissed.

Kanda opened his mouth to speak, but paused. He shook his head, muttered something and walked away. The red head groaned loudly so Kanda would know he wasn't happy. The orderly simply laughed.

Lavi left the hospital in a huff.

* * *

**Hmm...that was kind of an odd chapter, wasn't it?**

**I've been meaning to finish up chapters for my other stories, but this one is my first pick. I'm hoping it won't be too long until I can finally update my other stories.**

**Please tell me what you think of this chapter! Your feedback is the only thing that will make this story better!**

**Thank you so much for reading~!**


	5. Hope In An Unlikely Place

**Warnings: Possible typos, violence, language, drug references. Enjoy!**

**Author notes at the bottom.**

* * *

It felt like his body was trying to kill him.

Allen's bones ached and he felt incredibly naseous. After losing count on how many times he had thrown up, he decided he had enough. He went looking for his other morphine. To his dismay, he saw that his suitcase had been ransacked and the syringes were gone. He sat on the floor, rested his head in his hands and cried. He didn't want to be addicted to it anymore, but his cravings got worse and worse with every hour.

Just then, Lavi walked through the front door. Allen turned very quickly, making the redhead jump slightly.

"Where did you go?"

"The hospital."

"You took my extra morphine, didn't you?"

Lavi sighed and nodded.

The white haired boy's eyes filled with despair.

"Allen, I know this is really hard for you, but relapsing would be just as bad...do you want to go through withdrawal a second time?"

Allen shook his head. "I didn't think it would be THIS hard..."

"We don't think that way for many things. We humans take so many things for granted. And when those things are gone, it's hard to live without them."

Allen instantly knew who the red head was referring to. "Lavi..."

The redhead turned away. "Sorry."

Allen stood up. Without saying a word, he went back into Lavi's room.

The red head sighed. Suddenly, the phone began to ring. It was Kanda. He lifted the reciever, pressing it to his ear

"What is it, Kanda?"

"Well, don't you sound miserable! I'm just calling to ask you if you wanted to go to the bar tonight."

"Not really."

"Jesus, Usagi. Get that fucking stick out of your ass and loosen up for once. I'll pick you up in half an hour."

The line went dead. Lavi stared at the phone in disbelief.

He knocked on the door to where Allen was. Opening it, he was relieved to see Allen resting. He kneeled by him and placed a hand on his forehead.

The white haired boy winced and cracked open his silver eyes. Lavi grinned.

"Allen, I'm going out with a friend of mine. Will you be okay by yourself?"

Allen nodded, slowly dozing off. "...Have fun."

Lavi nodded and left him to rest. Ten minutes later, Kanda arrived in his car.

"What bar are we going to?"

"The Reno."

Lavi stared at him in disbelief. "A kiddie bar?"

"Hey, you're still a minor. It's the only place that would let a kid like you in."

Lavi glanced down at the floor of the car. "Fuck sakes..."

They were waved in by the bouncer and took their spots at the bar. Lavi ordered himself a beer and Kanda fancied a scotch.

"So, how is that kid?" Kanda asked.

Lavi was surprised Kanda would ask about Allen. "He's rehabilitating right now."

"From what?"

"A morphine addiction."

"At home? Why didn't you bring him back to the hospital?"

"I'm pretty sure the last place he wants to be is back there. Plus, Dr. Ryan asked that I take care of Allen at home."

"Che. It's better equipped for helping him recover."

"What he needs is a home. Not a cold institution."

"And your house is the best you could come up with?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Don't you think living in the shadow of someone's dead brother is a bit uncomfortable? Especially when it's the brother of the person who's supposed to help you?"

Lavi was silent.

"I think you're way in over your head, Lavi. You're obviously still mourning Joshua and taking in a kid that looks like him won't make it any better."

"And what do you know about that, Kanda? What makes you so certain that I can't handle having Allen in my house?"

"I've seen it happen before. You remember Megan, right?"

"Ah, the girl who quit..."

"Quit? Oh, so that's what they told you. No, she didn't quit. She killed herself."

A shiver went up Lavi's spine. Kanda smirked, and continued with his story.

"She took in an abuse victim that looked like her twin sister, who died from cancer. The similarities between the abuse victim and her sister made poor Megan crack. I'm worried the same might happen to you, you know?"

Lavi's eyes narrowed. "You're so full of shit, Kanda. Since Allen's been staying with me, you're jealous that he's getting more attention than you."

The orderly's face went beet red. "You know what? You can pay for your own fucking drinks and get home by yourself. I'm sick of your attitude."

"And I wonder how I can put up with you."

Lavi watched an enraged look appear on Kanda's face. The Japanese man rose and struck Lavi across the face, sending the red haired teenager to the ground. The idle chatter around them suddenly died as the two teens became the focus of attention.

"What the hell?"

"Didn't I just tell you I'm sick of your fucking attitude?" Kanda hissed.

"That's no reason to hit me, you idiot!"

"It's not just your attitude...it's all the shit you've been pulling. Your brother's been dead for a month now! Get over it!"

"Okay, go and get in an accident and be responsible for Yuki's death. See how long it takes you to get over that."

"Are you threatening me? Leave my sister out of this!"

"Then leave my fucking brother out of this! I can take care of Allen by myself, and I sure as hell don't need your fucking fake sympathy!"

Kanda did not reply. The daggers he shot at Lavi told the redhead that he should take his victory quietly and leave. He paid for his beer and left without another word.

* * *

"Lavi! Welcome home." Allen greeted him.

"Allen, you're feeling better?"

"A little bit. I was bored, so I cleaned up. I hope you don't mind."

Lavi glanced around. His apartment was alot cleaner than when he left it. "Ah, it must've been a real mess. Thank you, I appreciate it."

Allen smiled. "How was your evening?"

"I got into a fight with my best friend."

"Christ, what happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Ah, okay. Well then, I'm gonna go to bed. Good night, Lavi."

"Good night, kiddo."

Allen was about to go into Lavi's room. He stopped and turned to face the redhead. "Hey, do you want your bed to yourself tonight?"

Lavi shook his head. "Go and make yourself comfortable."

"If that's alright with you..."

Once Allen shut the door, Lavi was left to think about the harsh words he and Kanda exchanged. It irked him how Kanda didn't take Joshua's death seriously. How could he? He didn't know what it felt like to live with that kind of guilt or pain. No one he knew really understood how he felt. He glanced over his shoulder at the door to Joshua's room.

* * *

Allen was roused from sleep early in the morning by a familiar queasiness in his stomach. He knew it would pass, but was ready to dash to the washroom if needed. After a few minutes his stomach settled, and his thoughts went to that of going back to sleep. Just as he was about to fall asleep again, he heard soft sobs coming from Lavi's side of the bed. Looking over at him, Lavi's body shuddered with every muffled sob.

It saddened Allen to see Lavi like this. He shook the redhead. "...Lavi?"

Lavi turned over and looked at him. He realized what he was doing when he saw the concerned look on Allen's face. He sniffled and rubbed his eyes, forcing a grin.

"Sorry, Allen."

"Look, I can sleep somewhere else..."

"No. I mean, you don't have to."

"It's obvious you're having a rough time, Lavi. I can go back to the hospital to finish my rehab if it'll help you."

"But I'm supposed to be helping you."

Allen smiled apologetically. "How can you expect to help someone else when you can't even help yourself?"

Lavi knew he was right. But he didn't have the heart to send Allen back to the hospital. His silver eyes didn't smile along with his mouth.

"So let's help each other. I'm not gonna send you away."

Allen's eyes flashed surprise. Then they smiled. "Okay, deal."

Lavi could help but grin as well. Allen nestled underneath the blankets before closing his eyes and soon falling back asleep.

Lavi suddenly realized how much he had in common with the 15 year old. That very fact gave Lavi hope.

He resolved to clean Joshua's room in the morning.

* * *

**I've been a good little writer (if you can call me that) recently. c: With updating my stories and whatnot.**

**I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Thank you very much for your patience! ^.^**

**I'll be working hard on the next chapter, so stay tuned!**

**Thank you very much!**


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